I have watched the movie You’ve Got Mail every week for two months.  One might think I find it appealing because I want to believe in love, or I want to believe it’s possible for someone to come along and satisfy my romantic needs.

Actually, I don’t particularly care that the two characters requite their affections with a kiss in the final scene, although I confess it makes me glowy.  Furthermore, the idea of watching romantic movies to reinvigorate  self-centered illusions of partnership in order to recover from the dissolution of a bond repulses me.  There is something to be learned from separation, I think, and scrambling to revive romantic fantasies thwarts the blossoming of this wisdom.

Nevertheless, depictions of happy relationships do seem to have healing properties.

For me, the power of this particular quintessential chick flick lies in its depiction of strength during loss, relaxed faith in the viscissitudes of life and love, and the capacity to remain open hearted even when your cherished confidant takes the form of an apparent enemy.

The main character, Kathleen, loses her business.  Though it saddens her, she takes it in stride and awaits her new calling.  Both characters, Kathleen and Joe, experience the end of a relationship, but they face the transition as a natural part of life.  Finally, though their initial face-to-face meetings are adversarial, they transcend their prejudices and cultivate the treasures hidden beneath.  The process takes time and care, love and patience.

When things fall apart, life feels very heavy and solemn.  Every time I watch this movie, however, I feel like I’m programming myself to enter the world with strength, hope, kindness and lightheartedness.  I begin to believe in the possibility that every loss is just transformation from one realm of joy to another, and all I need to do is relax and show kindness to those who cross my path.