Beginning with the presumption that to love is to care for the wellbeing of another, to want their happiness, to strive for their freedom from suffering, to give,

I look back on how certain relationships have unfolded and ask, “Is that a love story?”  Was I seeking to love or seeking to acquire?  Were we trying to create love, or were we simply trying to orchestrate this wonderful experience of merging?  Is merging love?

Sometimes, I think, “That was going to be a beautiful love story, but it fell apart,” and grief wells up inside me.

Grief begins to heal when I remember that love is not about getting everything I want from someone.  Love is not about conjuring up the transient feelings and sensations of union.  Without love, the experience of merging is artificial and destined to fade.

Affection and harmony are beautiful opiates, but not synonymous with love.  Without love, these deteriorate into little more than addictions.

The greatest love story?  Two people meet and open their hearts to one another.  They recognize that at the core, they are the same being.  They strive to love in every moment, in every circumstance.  Maybe they ride off into the sunset.  Maybe they find romance elsewhere.  But they never go their “separate ways.”